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What is kinbaku for you?
In Kinbaku (general)
Darkly_Dreaming
Nov 02, 2020
This is a great topic. With many answers. The one that comes to mind is... Sex. Just as there are many ways to have sex, and each person has sex in their own unique and personal manner, kinbaku is like that for me. There is no right or wrong way to have sex or be intimate with someone. It will vary based on who you are intimate with at the moment. How you are both feeling. How long you've known each other. How comfortable you are. No one can "teach" you how to have sex. It is instinctual. Yes, there are some "technical" aspects that a book or sex educator can tell you about. But ultimately each person will decide what works best for them. Kinbaku is like that for me. It's a personal journey of learning and exploration. Discovering what works for me and the person I am tying. There is no one tie or method or style that I adhere to. It will vary based on many factors and will evolve overtime. The great bakushi Yukimura Haruki once said, "rope is free." And he is correct. What is right for me may not be right for someone else. And that's okay. That is how it should be. That is the beauty of kinbaku. It is not a competition to see who can "tie" the perfect gote or make a more interesting hishi pattern. It's not about the rope at all. If you focus too much on the rope, you are missing the entire point. The rope is a tool in the tool box. Any type of material to bind can replace the rope. Kinbaku is ultimately about the silent sharing and understanding that can happen between two people. An intimate sharing that does not have to be sexual at all. It can be intensely emotional. It can be erotic (or not). It can lead to joy, tears of sorrow, feelings of pain or pleasure. Kinbaku is all that an more. And something that is very personal and special to each individual in our community.
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