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Challenges you come up against in kinbaku (shibari)?
In Kinbaku (general)
Milla Reika
Nov 04, 2020
Yes, that is the beauty!
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Determining Initial Tension
In Kinbaku (general)
Milla Reika
Nov 04, 2020
@Darkly_Dreaming Agreed!
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Determining Initial Tension
In Kinbaku (general)
Milla Reika
Oct 19, 2020
This is something that I have discussed with many people in the kinbaku world here in Japan, and yet have to find a decisive answer. So, I am really glad you asked this question. My conclusion, based on my interpretation of these conversations and my own observation and experience, is that they are structurally on par with each other, provided the tension is even across the entire chest area and on the left and right sides. The key differences are areas of difficulty in tying and how it feels for the person being tied. So it really comes down to preference I think. 1. Two wraps and then lock-off This one requires you to tie the first wrap very loosely and then tie the second-wrap tighter in order to achieve even tension and get the knot to finish in the center of the back in one movement. This requires lot of practice and finesse to get right. Many people are taught to tie it off center and then adjust afterwards. I advise against this for following three key reasons. 1) When you adjust back to center the stem (rope connecting wrists to upper wraps vertically) loosens, changing the tension on the wrists and allowing them to drop too low 2) There is higher risk of slight twisting of the skin on the surface which is uncomfortable 3) Can feel rough for the being tied. Based on discussions with people, as the ropes start somewhat loose and are pulled tight in one swift fluid movement it feels more spontaneous and bounding for the person being tied. Of course this is subjective. Some people prefer the continuous direction of this method. *Note: There will always be slightly more tension on the side that you begin tying on. When adjusting the tensions (after locking off) always start from the opposite side. i.e. adjust from left to right. And, then adjust again on both sides from the center. 2. Wrap back method This requires wrapping in one direction, achieving the tension with a semi-lock off (wrap-back), then wrapping the second-wrap at the same tension as the first, and then locking off in the center. A lot of people find this easier to achieve even tension while also getting the knot in the center. While it appears a lot easier to tie, and is in many aspects, the rope can tend to sit on the skin rather than sit into or sink into the skin if your rope handling with your wraps hasn't been refined. There are some very subtle movements when wrapping the ropes that can help the rope to sit into the skin. This helps to prevent the rope from slipping which in turn mitigates any slight changes in the tension throughout the session. The tension is also decided on the first wrap so there is less of a sense of spontaneity. Like you said visual beauty and functionality are difficult to balance here. My suggestion is to tie what feels good for you. But remember that there is more to the second wrap-back method than is often taught or meets the eye. I hope this helps. Also I would love to hear some other peoples' thoughts and opinions on this matter as well. Opinions from the people who enjoy being tied would also be interesting to hear. Which one feels better to you? And why?
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Challenges you come up against in kinbaku (shibari)?
In Kinbaku (general)
Milla Reika
Sep 21, 2020
Hi Mark, I think we discussed this briefly via email. Hopefully we can get some opinions and ideas from others here in the forum as well. From my side, First of all, having the flexibility to abandon what you had planned and go with the flow is a great attitude and skill to possess. I also have sessions where nothing seems to go as planned. Sometimes you can easily adapt the tie slightly and things start to move in direction you hoped for. And, other times, you adapt and adapt, somehow end up ‘painting yourself into a corner’ so to speak. When this happens, I often completely untie, ensuring that the untying is also part of the ‘play.’ (sometime the untying even becomes the most enjoyable part of the session). And then start again with either the same tie, or something completely different. Having to untie, doesn’t mean ‘failure’ nor that the session needs to end. Of course, this also requires having a larger ‘toolbox’ (or ‘go to’ ties) as well as knowledge/skills on how to apply the rope on the body (regardless of the tie) so that it doesn’t slip. For example, if tying the calves, always ensure that that top rope sits above and calf muscle and sits into the skin, so as to prevent it from slipping down. Being able to look at the body and muscle contours and adjust the ties to work with the body is the key. This does just take practice though. As we discussed briefly via email, adding an element of predicament play can also be exciting and help with keeping your partner present and active by counteracting the arousal/pleasure with some slight discomfort while adding a different element to the session. This could be something as simple as tying the hair as attaching to a point above you (as this is not a suspension line, a solid light fixture may even suffice), or having your wife kneel on something hard or uncomfortable. DM discourse such as ordering your wife to hold something in her mouth, or stand up straight (if standing) may also work, and add another element at the same time. -Milla
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